Above elbow please

Hi all I am new to this site but have read several posts.I would really love to be an above elbow amp. I have had a couple of ops on my elbow and wrist and have tried to get a serious infection in both but failed, I have tried stagnant water from a drain and I even cut one back open a little a put raw one month old chicken in but nothing. I have also tied my arm off at the elbow for several hours a lot of pain but nothing. I am married with a family so cant make it obvious. My arm is about 75% of what it was before the ops and I ware wrist brace and elbow strap yes they help but its the look I like aswell and I can get away with them but what I really want is to be free of my arm, at every opportunity I bang my elbow as it is already damaged it may get worse I tell my specialist the pain is bad in the hope he may op again and it may eventually lead to it not being worth keeping. I would love to get a clot in it as I could leave that for some time until the damage was irreversible and no one would know but don't know how to do it.
Thanks for reading any help please.